Revealed
by happiethots
Summary: Greg confides in Catherine about the woman he's inlove with. chap 9 up.
1. Chapter 1 Telling her

**Telling Her**

The poet Constance Fenimore Woolsen once wrote , and I quote:

_'We shrink within ourselves in voiceless sorrow, leaving the words unsaid,  
And, side by side with those we love the dearest, in silence on we tread.'_

I'm not much a romantic. I don't bring flowers or write love notes. My idea of a date would be going to a U2 concert or drinking tequilla half the night with her. Getting drunk that we end up having forgettable sex. Then wake up in the morning with a terrible headache not from the liquor but from having another senseless night. I know its cruel, but it's the truth. Half the time I wake up with a woman I barely know.

And I know why.

I'm attracted to her, and I have no idea of how to tell her. I go on dates to try to forget her, but in the end I still end up wanting her. Wishing for her, constantly thinking of her.

Silence can really be deafening. The quietness of not able to express how I feel for her is so loud, its driving me to the brink of insanity. How much longer can I keep up with this?

I really need help, I need to tell her. Somehow.

"Hey, Cath, you busy?" I gently knock on her door. If I confide in somebody it might as well be Catherine. Catherine is straight, more attuned to the human soul. She understands people, knows what it is to love and to loose love, understands joy and sorrow. Plus, Catherine never tells.

Grissom, on the other hand will give all these analogies and makes you figure it out yourself. He'd be a great psychiatrist.

"Come in, Greg. I'm just finishing up my report. What's up?" She looks up from her table shuffling files around.

She looked busy, "well, I'll come later, Cath. Just wanted to ask you something." I scratched my head and started backing out the door.

"Greg, no, wait," she stands up and hold out her hand. "Come on in, lets talk."

I sit down. Take a deep breath and let it out. I don't know how to start.

She looks at me, giving me time to start. I unconsciously look at my watch, I see the second hand keeping its pace. Okay.

"Cath, would you date a person like me. Ummm, hypothetically speaking?"

She looks at me, as if trying to read me.

"Okay, Greg, whose the chick this time? What did you do again?"

"Nothing!" I let my hands up the air. "That's it, nothing. I've done nothing yet, Cath. I like her. A lot. But she doesn't know it. I don't know if she would like me for being me, if I asked her on a date would she go out with me. So I'm asking you. You know me, Cath. Would you go out on a date with me, knowing me? Again, hypothetically speaking."

I know that look on Catherine's face, she's in deep thought. Yeah, she's weighing it in. If the Greg package worth dating.

"She got you , Greg, huh."

"Yeah, she got me good, Cath," I reply with my head down, finding interest in my shoelace. Catherine wouldn't even consider going out with me, I guess I'm that bad of a date then.

"Hey, Greg,"she says, "look at me,Greg."

I lift my head up slowly and look back at her face.

"Yes, I would go out with you, again, hypothetically speaking. Yes I would," she says with a smile.

"Really, Cath? I mean you would really go out with me? Of course, hypothetically speaking. Wow! Really, huh."

"Yeah, really, Greg. I mean you're a fun person. True to yourself. A kid at heart. Your funny and sweet," she reaches out and pats my hand. "Now tell me about your lady love and why such a hesitation asking her out?"

I shift uncomfortably in the chair. I look at her desk and start to count the paperclips.

"Greg, if your not comfortable, its okay."

"She's wonderful," I blurt out. "'She's beautiful, smart, funny and kind. She tells amazing jokes. She can be sarcastic but its always in line. She brings in an air of freshness when she comes in to work. She's…she's everything and a lot more…" I trailed off.

"Wow, Greg. I've never really heard you talk about someone like this. She must be special." Catherine leans back in her chair and smiles broadly.

"Yeah, she is special, Cath." In a low tone I continue, "she turns my world upside down. I mean, everything within me is chaotic. But when I'm talking to her or just being near her, it seems like everything comes in order. I like the feeling of it. I mean, I like it….I like her a lot, Cath. She makes me feel, you know, alive inside. I like working side by side with her, every chance I get. I love listening to her, her thoughts, conclusions, questions and answers, everything about her. That it hurts inside of me..."

"Greg, you're in love with her."

"I think I am, Cath. And it scares me. A hell of a lot!"

"Why?" Catherine asks.

"Why? Wow, its funny how a 'why' can break you down." I laugh of the thought why being in love scares me.

"Hey, Greg, being in love is a natural thing. Sometimes you cant help it falling for that person. I know its scary, but its a risk you gotta take. If you never tell her, you'll never know, right?" she says sympathetically.

"I cant tell her, Cath. I don't know how. I want to but it scares me. I know it's not right. But… I don't know. Cath, I'm just Greg Sanders and she's like, way high over me." I put my hand over my head as if giving out a measurement.

"Greg, you're an awesome guy. A girl would be lucky to be with you." Catherine replies with a grin.

"Cath," I smile at her, "that's the difference, she's not a girl, she's a woman."

"Greg," she says reassuringly, "she still would be lucky. Go tell Sara what you feel before you get cold feet again."

I look at Catherine and in a low whisper, "its not her."

She stands up, starting to pick up the files and continues, "she's be surprised but at least she'll know and you'll know from there."

"Catherine," I say again, "its not her.'

"She'll be..What? What do you mean it's not Sara?" she drops the files back one her desk looks at me, "its Mia?"

"Not her either, Cath," I say quietly. "Its none of them."

"Then who the hell that you work with that… Greg. What are you saying?" her voice is a raised now. This is what I feared most.

"Catherine, please, lower your voice." I get up and walk to her door and close it slowly.

"Greg, don't shit with me, I'm not in the mood right now." I can see the anger in her eyes.

"Cath, you yourself said we cant help who we love. I cant help it if I'm falling for you."

I walk toward her door and open it, I look at her one more time, "I'm sorry, Cath, for letting you know that I'm in love with you."

"Greg, wait."

"It's okay, Cath. I understand." I slowly close her door.

----oOo-----

comments, suggestions are honest to goodness welcomed. greg/cath pairing is new to me.


	2. Chapter 2 Confrontations

"Greg! Wait up! Greg!" I hear Catherine call out my name. It made me walk faster.

I passed by the break room and it was empty. Good, I need to be alone. I closed the door and stoodin the corner. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Stupid, Greg. That was stupid. Humiliating myself like that. What was I thinking? She's Catherine Willows. The Catherine Willows.

"Greg, you in here?" I hear a gentle knocking and the door opens slowly. Catherine looks in. "Greg?"  
"Cath, not now, please." She comes up to me, looks at me squarely, "that was a low blow, Greg, and you know it. Asking me like that, trying to see where you stand.'  
I hold up my hand interrupting her, "I know, I know. Just stop. I'm sorry. It wont happen again . I just…" I take a deep sigh, "Cath, please. I.." What else can I say?  
Catherine continues to look at me, her arms folded across her. With a somber look I added, "I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry. I just don't know what else to do. I couldn't tell or ask anyone. So I came to you."  
Catherine turned around and walked out of the door.

_'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach.'_  
Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew what she was writing about. 'How do I love thee, Catherine? Let me count the ways. I love the every thought of you. Everything you represent and stand for. All that you have given and offered in life. The way you smile, the sound of your voice, how comfortable and confident you are. The way you move, every expression, every feature is breath taking. How do I love thee, Catherine?' Everything. Everything about you.

I'm not a love sick puppy. I know it didn't blossom over night. It took time. Sure, I had this thing for Sara at the start but after awhile, I realized we were more better off as friends. Catherine on the other hand was… different. When I first started working I was just another lab technician that she would sent evidence for me to analyze. But it didn't stop from sending evidence and closing doors, she actually stay for a few moments and spent time talking to me. Asked me about me. We talked. Not about work but about other things. It was comfortable. I see her light up when we talk about her daughter. I see her uneasiness when she mentions Sam, her father. I would tell her amusing stories about my side of the family. It was beautiful to see her toss her head back and laugh. Catherine took the time to listen if something was bothering me. Yes, we did get to know each other. I like it that she cared.

When I became a CSI she was the first to congratulate me. It was a hug and a kiss on the cheek. But when we hugged, something deep inside was awaken. I thought it was because I was being hugged by a beautiful woman, smelling the sweet delicate scent of her perfume, the feeling of her body close to mine. Soon afterwardsshe occupied my thoughts. She would come into my dreams.

I couldn't figure it out first. Then I realized I was attracted to her, it scared the hell out of me. I mean who am I to fall for a woman like Catherine?

And here I am, confessing at her door like a love sick puppy.

---oOo---

The night goes by quietly. I try avoid Catherine, I couldn't look at her. After what I did, its best to keep distance. She in return does the same.

Several nights go by soon the tension between me and Catherine does not go unnoticed by the crew.

"Greggo, what's with the friction with Catherine? You two had an argument?" Nick asks while we were in the break room.

"Not really. Its just…nothing." I reply, "I don't want to talk about it."

Nick smiles and presses on, " so, Greg, my man, what did you do to cause fury to the great Catherine Willows?"  
Warrick walks in. "what fury in Catherine?"  
"Greg and Catherine had a lovers' quarrel," Nick says jokingly.  
"I did not have a quarrel with her!" I protested.  
"So," Nick says amusingly, "you're not denying you two are lovers!" I look at him while he's grinning widely.  
Warrick looks at me. "You two together? Since when, man?" I felt the surprise in his tone.  
I know Warrick and Catherine flirted on and off over the years but did nothing of it. When he got married I saw the look of loss and disappointment in her face.  
Seeing that it bothered Warrick that there might be a possibility of me and Catherine. She wasn't his anymore. I shot back at Warrick, "It doesn't matter. You're married now, remember?"

He takes a step closer to me, "Hey, where did that come from, man?"  
I take a step closer, "why do you keep on flirting with her? It was okay before you married Tina, but why keep on doing it? Trying to make her a mistress, Warrick?"  
"Greg, you're out of line that its not funny anymore," Warrick says as he advances towards me.  
Warrick and I are face to face. I know the way he continues to look at Catherine. I've seen his stares of lust towards her. I know, because I do too. His advantage is Catherine likeshis attentionand even flirts back at times.

Nick seeing the tension steps in between us and pulls Warrick backward, "hey, guys, were just talking here, okay. Be cool. Just talking."  
"Yeah, just talking." I stormed out of the room.

I went into one of the empty lab room, pulled out my ipod from my pocket and turned up the volume way up high. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired not able to talk to Catherine. I'm tired of love and not able to share it. I'm tired of feeling alone in this. I'm drained out. I have nothing for me.  
The glass door opens, Nick comes in. I look and him and he's saying something pointing to his ears.  
"….down the volume." I hear him say after I took off the earphones.  
"Greg, lets talk, what was that about, man?" I see the concerned look in his face. Of course, he is Warrick's friend, and I'm jut an acquaintance. Why would he care? Why would anyone care?  
"Dude, its nothing, I just want to be alone for now, okay? I messed up, that's all. I'll apologize to Warrick. I had no right to do that." I take a deep breath. I went around the table and sat.  
"Greg, come on. What's up?" Nick with a concerned look, pulls up a stool and sits opposite me.  
"Nick, please. I just want to be alone, okay."  
"Alright, dude. You need your space. If you need to get something off you chest, I'm here, okay?" He stands up, gives me a pat on the back and walks out.

As it always is, I end up alone.


	3. Chapter 3 Catherine's view

**_Been having too much to do at work. Thank goodness for day offs! Glad school is done. Half of my troubles are over._**

------oOo------

**Catherine's POV**

_Did I hurt Greg? Sure I did. I guess it's for his own good. I mean it's Greg. Goofy, fun lovin' Greg. Why would he be attracted to me? Okay, I know why. Not to be boastful, but I'm Catherine Willows. I know guys do get attracted to me a lot, its part of who I am, how I look, how I carry myself. I'm used to being stared, wanted and lusted at.That'll be the day when no one looks anymore._

_But Greg? I've known him for years. I've seen him grow into what he is now. He's my friend. Greg is Greg. If you want to have a good time outside work, invite Greg. If you're in the pits and want to be cheered, go to Greg. I've seen and heard him relate stories of all his escapades with girls before, I've even given him several dating advices. But him coming to me with that? No, he's playing, gotta be. How dare he anyway? What has gotten into him?_

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my office door.  
Sara opens the door and peers in, "Catherine, you busy?"

"Not really, come on in, Sara. What can I do?" I motion her to sit.  
"Ummm, Nick mentioned something to me about Greg," Sara sits there waiting.  
"Sara, please not you now. What's with this office? So much gossip!" I stand up and push my chair slowly into the desk.  
"Cath," she continues, "its just... Well, Greg is my friend."  
"I know Sara. He's my friend too. Have you talked to him?" I asked.  
"He wanted to be left alone. You two had an argument or something?"  
"No, nothing like that," I sighed, "Greg just…well, I don't know how to put it."  
"He's attracted to you, right?" She asked point blank.  
"He told you?"

"No, not really. Not in so many words. But when we talk, he asked 'so does Catherine like this or does Catherine like that,' or like, 'doesn't she look hot tonight?' I teased him everytime he mentions you and he just blushes like a teenager! I started observing him when you two are together, Nnotice how uncomfortable he becomes, the stutters and uneasiness?" she asks grinning at me.  
I smile back, "yeah, I noticed the uneasiness. But I never really put thought to it."  
"Cath, Greg, is a nice guy. Caring, thoughtful and sweet. A bit unconventional at times, but that's our Greg. I just…well.." She gives out a sigh.  
"Well, what, Sara?" I pressed on.  
"I don't want to see him hurt. I don't want to see you hurt either. If you're not going to entertain this, Cath…don't prolong his the agony. I know he's hesitant to approach you,because you're..." Sara pauses, then adds, "well, you're Catherine Willows! CSI, supervisor, mentor and all. But you gotta tell him. I hate seeing him like this. I hate seeing you troubled. He mopes around and you become moody!" Sara smiles and continues quietly, "you're my friends and have become my family. Its hard to stand still and watch you two at odds."  
I gave out a long sigh, "what got into him?"  
"Cath," the brunette says, "he's fallen in love with you. It's not unusual, you're an attractive woman, Cath. Hey, check out Hodges next time when you talk yo him!Watch his body language." Sara says with a laugh.

"Please dont tell me anymore!Not Hodges!" I say as I laugh with her.

After awhile wewere quiet.I know Sara wanted to say something else.

"Sara?" I look at her and she smiles.

"Why not... well, why not go out on a date with him? It might be fun and you two can talk, as friends."

------oOo------

_I thought about it when I got home. Pro's and con's. hmm. Con, Greg is young. Pro, I've dated younger guys before. Con, none of them lasted though. Pro, I know Greg and he knows me. Con, he knows me too much I might end up hurting him. Pro, Lindsay already likes and enjoys his company, he makes her laugh. Con, will she approve of us? Con what will they say at work? Pro, I never really would give a damn anyway. Pro, it might work out. Con, it might…not. Pro, Greg is sweet. Con, I might break his heart….and mine in the process._

_Of the nights I am off Lindsay is having a sleepover my sister's house. Its so empty and cold being by myself at home. Yes, I know. The effects of being alone. Even when Eddie was alive it still felt empty. We had a great sex life when we were together but it was mixed with booze and drugs. Over the years it was just having sex, not making love. I knew there was a difference, but it took me years to figure it out. And here I am again, still trying to figure things out._

The doorbell rings. Lindsay did say she might come home if she starts to get in an argument with her cousin, Jeremy. Well, its not too late for dinner out if she still wants to. I forgot how hungry I am right now.  
I smile, I'm glad she's coming home, sure do need a warm body around. Maybe we can cuddle while we watch an old movie again.  
"Hold on, honey, I'm coming." I say as I neared the door, I look in the peep hole.I unlockopen the door.

"Greg? What are you doing here?"

---oOo---

**_i have so many possibilities where this might go... just gotta think and put the drama in my head into written words..._**

**_p.s. thanks for the reviews, please continue!_**


	4. Chapter 4 The Visit

I called Grissom and asked if I could have tonight off. Luckily, it wasn't busy at the lab and no new cases so he said 'yes,' with a condition to work a double next week if they needed a hand. I don't mind. I've pulled doubles before so nothing new.

Its no coincidence that its her night off. I needed to talk to her someway, somehow. Just me and her in a place she'd be comfortable in. So as Dorothy and her dog Toto goes, 'there's no place like home'.

I've debated over and over again on how should I do this. And I get no straight answer for myself.

Even the drive to her place was torturous. I've circled her block a couple of times before I decided to park three houses away. 

Call me insecure. At the moment I am.

If she rejects me, at least I'll know and I've tried. Will hurt for awhile but I guess the pain will never really go away. If she doesn't reject me… well, I actually haven't thought that far yet.  
Everything in my body heavily leans on the negative side.

Its 7:30 now. Geez, I've been sitting in my car for almost two hours. Its now or never.

Sara has been harping me to ask her out for a date. I've never had problems asking girls out. But this is Catherine Willows. I cant go up to her and say, 'yo, Cath, wanna go out?' No. this is Catherine. I need proper planning. I need to think this through. I've never been serious about something like this before.

And I need to go before I spend another hour in my car. See the predicament I'm in?

---oOo---

She opens the door, surprised to see me.

God, she looks so beautiful. Her hair tied up with some strands falling over her forehead, wearing a black body hugging tee, jeans and barefoot.

Barefoot yet, damn. She is so hot and sexy.

"Greg," she looks at me surprised. "what are you doing here?"

"Ummm, hey, Catherine. I was, uh, visiting someone around your area and thought of dropping by to say 'hey.' I cant even keep eye contact with her!

"So, uh.. 'hey', Cath." I give her a lying smile, digging my hands in my back pockets. Geez, pathetic.

She looks at me and her smile widens, "Greg, that's one of the lamest lies I've heard. Come on in."

Hey, at least I tried.

I come in and close the door behind me. I watch Catherine walk to her living room. So casual, so relaxed. This is her in her home, stress free. Walking barefoot in her home. No make up but yet ever so beautiful.

Her home so quiet."Is Lindsey asleep now?"I asked.

Last time I was here it was a barbeque party. I was giving a squealling Lindsey piggyback rides while Catherine, Nick, Warrick and Sara looked on laughing. I remember clearly the beaming look on Catherine's face as she watched her daughter laugh and have fun. It was funny because I spent most of the night entertaining and talking to the little Willows.Not that I mind but I enjoyed our conversations. She is a very sharp girl, just like Catherine.  
Eventually she fell asleep on the couch, exhausted. I went to the patio and whispered to Catherine. She came in with me and was about to pick up the little girl when I said, "I'll carry her up, Cath"  
She smiled, "Lindsay really loves it when you come over. She totally adores you. And I really love seeing her laugh and have fun. You're a good guy, Greg. Thank you"  
I carried Lindsey to her room. Catherine tuckes her in bed. The little girl sleepily opens her eyes and says, "I love you, mommy"  
Catherine leans down and kisses her daughters forehead and whispers, "I love you forever, Linds."

My thoughts were broken when she answered, "she's sleeping over at Nancy's. Something about this new video game she and Jeremy are playing.

"Have a seat , Greg. You want something to drink? I got beer, soda, tea, none of your Hawaiian coffee though…" she trails off, turns her head and smiles at me, waiting for my reply.

God, she's lovely.

"Uh, you got milk?"

She turns around looks at me with her brows creasing. "Milk, Greg?"

I know, I know. I do need something stronger. Vodka, gin, scotch…

Still looking at me. Again she questions, "milk, Greg? You're joking, right?"

I sit down on her sofa taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Well, you know what they say in the ads, 'milk, it does a body good," I said smiling at her.

She laughs as she walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge, "you don't need more milk, Greg. You already do have a great body."

Oh, god. She notices my body. Wow. What a revelation! I gotta wipe this silly grin on my face before she comes back. What a tease!

She comes out from the kitchen holding two beer bottles. She hands it to me and plops down on the sofa next to me. I'm guessing she's 14 to 16 inches away. I can smell her perfume. Yeah, that's close enough.

We both take a swig . Okay, silence between us. An awkward moment. Both of us now staring at our beer bottles like it's the first time we've seen it.

This is uncomfortable. I take another deep breath and let it out slowly.

I look at her and she was looking at me.

"So.."

"So.."

We laugh because we said it simultaneously. Good. A little bit of the ice chipped off.

"You go first, Greg." she points at me.

"Nah, you go first, Cath." I point back at her smiling.

She chuckles softly, "you came here for a reason, so you go first."

I laugh. "Chivalry is not dead . Lady's first." I do a mock bow and raise my bottle.

She sighs, leans forward as she picks up her bottle from the center table and continues to smile while still looking at me, "you're something else, Greg, you know that right?"

"I know. I'm on a class of my own. That's why I'm good looking, talented, adorable and lovable." I take my arm and lean it on the back of the couch, my hand just inches away from her neck. I could feel a few lost strands of hair tickling the top my hand.

"Ahh, you forgot sweet and humble." Still smiling as she leans back, my hand now touching her neck. I can feel the warmth of her neck sending shivers down my spine.

I'm sitting inches away next to a woman I'm attracted to. I don't know if I can control myself from leaning over and kissing her. My breathing quickens. I know I should take my hand out to kind of control this feeling but I cant.

My hand has a mind of its own. My fingers move and I slowly and gently massage Catherine's neck. The woman slowly closes her eyes and tilts her head downward.

"Ohh, that feels good, Greg." she mumbles.

I close my eyes. And I try to breathe.

Dear God, I think I'm dying. Please don't take me yet.

Please… 


	5. Chapter 5 The Hungry Cook

**The Hungry Cook**

"Ummm," she slightly leans towards me and whispers, "that feels really good, Greg."

"Cath,…" I whisper as I inch closer . I close my eyes, taking a deep breath smelling the sweet fragrance that is emitting from her. I continue to massage her neck. I want this. I lean closer.

She slowly put her hand on top of my knee. Oh ,God.

No! Not like this. I cant do this.

"Uh, Cath," I take my hand off. Wish I didn't have to. Think of something else than having sex with her!

Catherine looks at me, "Greg, I thought you..."

I clearly see she wants to.

God, please not like this.

I suddenly stand up. Looking at her. Geez, she's beautiful. Only a fool would say 'no' to Catherine Willows. I know I'm the first.

"Have you had dinner yet? I haven't. I'm hungry. How about you?" The words came out fast. I needed to cool off.

"Greg, what?" she utters with a bewildered look.

"I'm hungry, how about you?" I head off to the kitchen and open her fridge.

Puzzled, she stands up and follows me to the kitchen.

"What the hell, Greg?" Confusion and anger are written over her face.

I stuttered, "I, I umm, I'm uh, I'm hungry, Cath." I dig my hands deep in my pocket, my head bent. She sees my uneasiness.

Her looks soften. Puts both hand covering her face. "I'm sorry ,Greg. I'm sorry. I feel so embarrassed."

I move toward her, slowly taking her hands off her face and smile, "hey, you don't have to be embarrassed, I'm just hungry."

She smiles back, "I know. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. It wasn't my intention. It's just that it's …"

I lift her chin up with my fingers and look into those beautiful blue eyes that can melt a man's heart witha stare, "Shhh. It's not your fault. I wanted to, really. But I wanna do it right, Cath. I really wanna do it right with you. I don't just want to be just some guy in your life, I want to be the guy in your life."

She looks at me in wonder, "why me, Greg? Why of all the people you've met and know, why me?"

I take her hand and put it over my chest, letting her feel my heart beat, "can you tell your heart to stop whom you're falling for? I tried, Cath, but it didn't work. I tried avoiding you, but I was pulled closer to you. I tried blocking you from my mind, but you fill my thoughts. I try not to look at you but every time I close my eyes visions of you fill me."

She closes her eyes, her hand still feeling the beat of my heart.

"I know there are a lot of reasons why we can be together, and a lot of reasons why you think we shouldn't. I think.."

She raises her hand from my chest and puts her finger on top of my lips.

"Greg, there are a lot of reasons why you shouldn't fall for me, a lot of reasons. You're one of my best friends, I don't want you getting hurt. I don't want to hurt you. I would not intend to but every relationship I've been in I've hurt someone or end up getting hurt. Either I leave them or they leave me. It never lasts."

"I would never leave or hurt you, Cath. Never."

"I've heard those promises before, Greg. Sometimes I make them sometimes they do. It always ends the same."

I see the sad look in her eyes. Broken promises, unwanted hurt. How can I fill the void that she feels?

"I am not them, Catherine. Don't compare me to them." Have her previous lovers say the same words to her before?

"Greg, I.." she starts to say.

"Cath," I interrupt her, "I'm not them. I would never hurt you. In fact I would protect you. Take care of you. Watch over you and Lindsey. I want to be part of.."

"Greg," she interrupting me, "don't make promises to me. I can take the hurt but don't bring Lindsey in it."

"Cath, I only mean…I start to say.

She raises her voice in a firm way, "I know what you mean. I do. Just don't, Greg."

"I will never hurt you, Cath." I say again.

"Don't, Greg." She back away from me.

"Cath, I.." I take a step closer.

"Stop it, Greg. Just stop it." she raises her hand towards me.

"Okay, Cath. But I wont stop what I'm feeling. I don't want to stop." I say looking intently at her.

She looks back at me, tired. "Greg, I just..."

"Catherine, listen to me."

"Greg.."

"No, Cath, listen to me."

"Don't, Greg. I don't want to hear.."

"CATHERINE!"

She looks at me, "What?" she shouts back.

I smile, "I don't want to argue but.."

"But what, Greg?" she says frustratingly.

"But I'm still hungry." I grin at Catherine.

She tosses her hands up in the air in defeat. "Aughh! You win, Greg."

"Cath," I'm still grinning at her as I take a few steps closer till I'm inches away from her, "I'm not giving up on the probability of us but I don't want to argue tonight. Plus I'm hungry."

She leans her head on my chest, I can smell the sweet fragrance of her shampoo, "Alright, Greg. We'll take care of your stomach."

I laughed, "Catherine, if you knew how long I was outside.."

"What? How long were you outside?" questions Catherine.

"Uh, two hours parked near your house and uhh..about two hours driving around," I confess sheepishly and added, "so I'm really hungry, Cath."

She laughs and I laugh with her. This is good. I want us to be relaxed with each other. I like this. We argue like an old couple. I really can see us together.

"Soooo, you wanna eat out, Cath?" It could be a date for us if she wants.

"How about ordering in?" she suggested.

I walk to her fridge and open it, "I'm tired of pizza and Chinese. What do you got in here?"

She walks to the fridge, stands next to me and peers in, "let's see. Leftovers from last night, leftovers from the other night, leftovers brought from my mom's, this one here is from my sister's….."

I turn to her and smile, "Cath, don't you cook?"

"Hey, who has the time? I get home from work, drop Lindsay off and I sleep. Wake up and pick her up, order or eat out then back to work." she reasoned.

"Okay, I don't want to argue. But have no fear, my little lady, Greg the cook is here." I opened her freezer and looked what I could use.

"You cook, Greg? I've never heard you say you cook. Are you sure it's edible?" she teases.

"Woman, tease if you want. it's a little known fact that the Sanders men are great chefs." I pick out a chunk of what looks like ground beef.

"How long has this been in?" Holding the meat to her.

"Uhh, check the date, there should be one," she says pointing at the meat.

I turned it over, "Wow. You put dates too. Never knew you do that. Do you do that on all your groceries? What else do you date? Toilet paper, mascara, tomatoes, potatoes, toothpaste, green beans.."

"Greg! I put dates so I know how long ago I bought them. I don't do groceries and cook that often. I toss it out if its been in there for awhile."

"Alright, alright. Lets see…" I look at the vegetables in the chiller and pick out a potato, green pepper, carrot and onion. I smile at the thought that she puts her onions in the fridge.

"Okay, Cath, help me peel and chop." I handed her the potato and green pepper.

"Are you sure, Greg? You're not going to burn water, right?" She tries to look serious but I see the smile creeping in.

"Be quiet and chop." I commanded, "the chef needs absolute concentration. So,ummm, where's the oil?"

Catherine laughs as she takes the vegetables from me, "to the left, O mighty chef."

I defrosted the beef in the microwave. I take out a frying pan and add oil. Chopped the onions and tossed it in and added the beef.

I take out a box of instant rice and microwaved it.

I look up at Catherine and see her sitting on a bar stool observing and smiling at me.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked .

"You." she says.

"What about me?" I asked curiously.

"You look good in the kitchen. You know you're way around. Plus you look kinda sexy holding that spatula thing."

"Ahhh, am I turning you on with this spatula thing? it's a turner, you know," I lower the heat on the stove and face Catherine again, "we don't have to use this turner or the spatula thing as you call it just here in the kitchen, you know. It can have many uses," I say mischievously.

"Greg, the kinky cook. I would have never guessed." she says playfully.

"Chef. I like Greg the kinky chef better. Adds a little class." I smile as I go back to my cooking.

She burst out laughing, "Ahh, Greg, you are priceless as always."

I add the other ingredients and some spices. Catherine sits quietly, watching me. What is she thinking? I smile to myself. I do hope I'm making a good impression.

"So," she finally says, "what do you call what you're cooking?"

"Lilheren Tee, something my father taught me." I take a spoon and scoop a little meat off the pan , "taste if its okay."

She puts the spoon in her mouth, "ummm, oh, god, that's good!"

"I'm not a god, but thank you for the title. I knew sooner of later you'd recognize my chiseled look. We Sanders men are known for our strong features, almost roman like, you know." I turn my head sideways in a fashion manner.

"Awww, Greg!" she laughs, "cut it out. This is good! What did you say it was? Lilheren Tee?"

"Little here and there, my Dad would always throw stuff in when he cooked."

Catherine continues to grin, "you, Greg Sanders, are a work of art. Are we gonna eat or chat?"

I smile. Me and Catherine are going to have dinner together.

I'll think of this as our first date.

-----oOo-----

**_I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd dabble again a little. I seldom (rarely actually) cook. So I don't know what Greg made. If it amounts to something edible, tell me.  
Feedbacks are always cool! Happy fourth of July!_**


	6. Chapter 6 Knowing Me, Knowing You

**Knowing me, knowing You**

Catherine sets the plates, "Greg, can you get the spoons and forks? Its in the third…"

I'm already next to her handing the utensils.

"Oh," she says, "I forgot you know your way in my kitchen." She smiles at me.

And here I am grinning like an idiot. "Well, that's me. Handy Greg."

We both sit down in front of each other. I steal glances at her. God, I fell like I'm back in high school, a geek looking at the most popular cheerleader in the campus. Damn. Who am I to pursue Catherine Willows? What have I got to offer? Myself? Would that be enough for her? I'm not rich, thats for sure. I rent an apartment, I own an electric guitar, I have a loveseat that I got from the thrift shop. It's old but it was the first thing I bought when I got my first pay check. It was my bed for the first few weeks, it was my dining chair, it was the only furniture that graced my apartment when I moved to Vegas. I guess I hung on to it because I've scored many times with chicks on that sofa. They don't call it loveseat for nothing. But if Catherine say it goes, I wouldn't give it another thought.

So what do I have? I'm sitting here in front of Catherine, inside her beautiful home. She has everything. And again what do I have? The best thing that comes in to mind is ME. Lame, isn't it? A poor man's dream of reaching the for the brightest star. Maybe God would pity me, see that I'm sincere in my quest and let me win the lottery. But it doesn't work that way. Plus I don't buy lottery tickets.

"Greg, you okay? You've been sitting there quietly. Aren't you going to eat?" She looks at me with a concerned look.

"I'm fine, Catherine. I'm fine. I was just thinking, that's all." I give her a half smile as I reach for the rice.

"I know what's missing. Red or white, Greg?" She stands up and heads to the cupboard.

"Trick question, huh. I do prefer metallic black, kind of dark, sinister and sexy." I smile at her.  
She opens the cupboard, "No, dummy. Red or white wine?"

I raise my eyebrows at her, and innocently say, "If you're planning to make me tipsy so you can take advantage of me later, I'll go for white." She gives me a disapproving look, then takes a bottle out.  
"Red it is then." Its Merlot, my favorite.

I stand up and go to the cabinet, "I got the glasses."

Catherine sits down and opens the bottle, "you sure know your way in here, Greg."

"Of course," I answer, "I remember everything, I'm very observant." I smile as I sit down and hand her the wine glasses. She takes them and pours the wine.

"Really?" she asks playfully.

"Do I detect a disbeliever in the powers of the Greg Sanders? I raise my right eyebrow.

"Okay, hot shot. What does the caption in the picture say ? The one that is hanging at the left wall when you enter into my office?" Now she raises her right eyebrow. Very cute. And might I add, sexy.

I smile, "and the truth shall set you free."

"That was easy. You see it everytime you come the office anyway." She says as she hands me my glass. I take a sip.

"Okay, genius, what was I wearing last week?" She gives me a smug look.

I lean forward on the table, "what day?"

She lifts up a finger, she swallows hard, "what?"

"What day?" I asked again.

"Oh, you're too much Greg, okay. Last Tuesday then." she leans back and takes a sip.

I close my eyes. Yes, Tuesday . I still can clearly picture her as she breezes in the break room, "you were wearing your dark blue top, the one that is almost the color of your eyes, black slacks. Your wore black heels. Your hair was a little tousled when you came in , it was a warm windy evening that night. You ran your hand through you hair, not that it needed to be combed because you already looked great. You mentioned something about Lindsay to Grissom that she had a fever and you were concerned. Grissom said if the night is slow, you can clock out early if needed. But you didn't. I gather her fever broke." I opened my eyes and look at her.

Catherine had her wine glass next to her lips, starring at me.

"Wow, okay. I don't know what I wore but I remember mentioning Lindsay to Grissom." she lowers her glass a little, "okay, how many stop lights from the office to my house then?"

"Twelve." I say with a sly grin.

She laughs, "okay, I gotta count that tomorrow when I drive to work."

"Come on," I challenged her, "ask me something about you."

"Okay, smart alec," she presses on with a devious smile, "tell me about me then."

I take a deep breath, lean forward and in a low voice, "you love horses, you rode before you could walk back in Montana where you were born." She looks at me with wide eyes her mouth slightly open, "if you're wondering how I know, you mentioned this five years ago when I was reading a magazine with a picture of a horse in the back cover in the break room." I lean back and cross my arms.

"Okay, Greg, what else have you observed?"

"You like turkey club sandwiches without the bacon, you take your coffee with one creamer and a sweetener, you still use a nicorette, a mentholatum is in your purse. And you're wearing your favorite earrings right now." I smile, "should I go on?"

Catherine looks at me, "wow, you notice the little things."

I stand up and bring our empty plates to the sink, " I know you used to be an exotic dancer at the clubs while you were making your way though college, but you prefer slow dancing if given the chance." I turn around and look at her.

She was quiet for a moment, both of us staring at eachother, the she breaks the silence and asks, "so what was Sara wearing last Tuesday then?"

"I don't know, I'm not interested in her." I say.

She stands up taking her wine glass with her and heads to the living room. "Slow dancing, huh."

I follow her to the living room. I take her wine glass and set it down the center table, "yes, slow dancing. You're a romantic, Catherine."

I take out my ipod "may I?"

She looks at me confused. I take the ear phones out from my pocket and gently put them in her ear. "I know your song, too. You hum it sometimes at work." I turn it on and she closes her eyes.

I move closer to her ear and whispered, "May I have this dance?"

---oOo---

**i know its been awhile. my bad... i got caught up at work and i also went on vacation. its summertime! hope i can make up for lost time. feedbacks are always great.**


	7. Chapter 7 Don't Let Go

**disclaimer: I don't own CSI, if I did the characters would do my biding. But they belong to Jerry Brukheimer. The song is "You Make Me Feel Brand New" by The Stylistics, is not mine either. It would be nice though. But no...**

**a/n: I heard the song over the radio.I knew it was an oldie so i had to ask one of my _older_ coworkers. If she knew i'm calling her old she'll have a fit. But anyone older than me is _older,_ and i will always be _younger_...**

**---oOo--**

**Don't Let Go**

"May I have this dance?"

She opens her eyes slowly and looks up at me. The lyrics of The Stylistics slowly fills her. She smiles and offers her hand. I smile as I take her hand in mine.

My hand is cold and shaking, she entwines her fingers in mines, steadying me.

"Just a little nervous," I say smiling.

She squeezes my hand, "I got you, Greg."

Yes, you do, Catherine. You got me. Please don't let go, because I don't want to fall.

I slip my other hand gently around her waist as she rests her other hand on my shoulder. She hums along with the music, and I whisper the words along.

And we slowly dance.

_My love, I'll never find the words, my love_

_To tell you how I feel, my love_

_Mere words could not explain_

_Precious love, you hold my life within your hands_

_Created everything I am_

_Taught me how to live again_

_Only you, cared when I needed a friend_

_Believed in me through thick and thin_

_This song is for you, filled with gratitude and love._

Her arms goes across my shoulder in an embrace as she brings herself closer to me. She slowly rests her head on my chest.

God, I know she can hear my heart beating so fast.

"It's okay, Greg," she whispers, "I'm nervous too." She pauses then asks, "how did you know?"

"The song? I told you, I heard you hum it."

"But how did you know that this is the one?"

I look at her and grin, "I told you, I'm very observant."

"Really, Greg." I love it when her eyes twinkle like that in disbelief.

"After a long and tiring shift, you'd sometimes sit back in the breakroom and close your eyes and you hum it. And then you smile. I figured you're picturing yourself slow dancing with someone to the song."

She continues to smile. "But now the guy I'm dancing with in my mind finally has a face."

I close my eyes and wrap my arms around her. Please don't let it end.

_God bless you_

_You make me feel brand new_

_For God bless me with you_

_You make me feel brand new_

_I sing this song for you_

_Make me feel brand new._

_My love, whenever I was insecure_

_You built me up and made me sure_

_You gave my pride back to me_

_Precious friend, with you I will always have a friend_

_You're someone who I can depend_

_To walk the path that sometimes bends._

We're still dancing but all I can see around me is a haze. Like a black and white silent movie and I'm watching my past go by in blurry and pale scenes. It all stops when it comes to the present, where me and Catherine are. As if my soul is watching us dance. All the colors are within us. Such serenity, peace and comfort envelop me. I've been searching for so long and finally I feel like I'm finally home, here with Catherine. This, forever.

We dance as one.

But the question persists in my mind. Does she feel the same? Will she feel the same? Or is she caught up in the moment? Will it be over when the music stops?

_Without you_

_Life has no meaning or rhyme_

_Like notes to a song out of time_

_How can I repay you for having faith in me?_

_God bless you_

_You make me feel brand new_

_For God bless me with you_

_You make me feel brand new_

_I sing this song for you._

The song is over. The silence becomes so loud that I'm to let her go.

I can feel my breathing quicken and my heart pounding so hard that I can hear it. Can she feel it?

"Catherine?" I lift her chin up to look at me and whisper, "I don't want this song to end."

I look into her eyes. My heart is pleading, with all sincerity, I don't want it to end. I love her. I love her. I love her.

I love this woman whom I'm holding. I don't want to let go.

But in her eyes I see questions. Asking me am I real?

Yes, I assure her with my heart and soul.

I find my voice andswallow hard.

In a hoarse whisper I say to her, "Cath, I don't want this to stop."

She doesn't answer. She tightens her arms around me. I feel her breathing rise faster. Her head presses against my chest.

Is she crying?

I say her name gently, "Catherine? I'm here. It's okay, I wont let go. I promise."

"Don't promise me anything, Greg." she says in between tears, "don't promise me anything. I've been there with promises. So don't make them."

"Catherine…"

"Don't, Greg. Please don't."

"Cath.."

"Just hold me, Greg, okay? Just hold me."

I continue to hold her. And I let her cry. I silently promise her that I wont let go.

Even without music, are bodies still move as one.

**---oOo---**

**feedbacks feedbacks. i'll add again on my day off.**


	8. Chapter 8 I'm Here

**I'm Here**

All I could do was to hold Catherine as she cried. We stood there in the middle of her room. Except for her light whimpers, it was quiet. And still were swaying slowly to unheard music.

If I could only take away all the hurt she has gone though,all the pain in her past, I would.

But for now all I could do was hold her.

"Catherine?" I say almost in a whisper, "it's okay. I'm here, Cath. I'm here."

"Don't, Greg." she says in between, "just... don't."

"Look at me, Catherine," I say, "look at me."

She slowly looks up and our eyes meet.

"I'm here, okay? I'm here." I say it to her firmly but gently.

Our eyes lock which seems forever. Then slowly she cups my face in her hands and pulls me into a kiss. I close my eyes and I respond slowly and gently to her kiss.

With Catherine feeling vulnerable, I know I shouldn't but how can something wrong feel so right at the moment. Is it a pity kiss? I don't know, I don't want to know. As of the moment I wanted to feel her kiss.

But reality sets in and I slowly break away from our embrace.

She looks at me confused.

"Cath, you know that I love you and I..." I slowly say.

"Greg, don't say anything, okay? Let's just see where it goes." She tries to kiss me again.

"No." I say in a whisper.

"What?" Catherine was sure surprised by my answer. She tried to pull away from me but I didn't let go.

Slowly I say, "I dont want to see where it goes, if its going to work or not. I want this to go somewhere. I want us to work. I want to be with you, Cath. Take care of you. Be there for you when whether you're happy or sad. Laugh with you, be a shoulder when you need one.I want to hold you, love you, kiss you, argue with you, fight with you, makelove with you. I want to see you smile again, Cath. I want to be the reason why you'll smile again."

She looks at me and I see at the corner of her lips, a smile forms. I smile back. I exhale deeply. Like a load off my shoulder.

This time I initiated the kiss and she accepted. It had more meaning this time.

This is better.

Then Catherine whispers in my ear, "stay with me tonight, Greg."

--oOo--

i know it's short. sorry... i gotta get back to work! reviews are greatly appreciated.


	9. Chapter 9 Us

**US**

"Catherine, you don't have to do this." If I were to be with her tonight, I don't want it to out of pity.

She looks at me, " Greg, I want you to stay. Please." She hold my hand and starts walking towards the stairs.

I'm trying to read her but at the moment my feelings for her is clouding it up. My jugdement is being affected by the possiblity of where the night might take us. So I slowly follow her upstairs. Neither of us saying anything.

She opens her door and leads me in.

"Catherine," I say once more, "we don't..."

"Shhhh." She quiets me with her finger over my lips, "I want this, Greg." She cups her hand again on my face and starts kissing me. She starts unbuttoning my shirt.

I close my eyes and I respond to her kisses. My thoughts inside my head start swirling fast. Images of Catherine and me. I feel my heart beating fast again. Is there a future? Or is this just for the present, being caught up in the moment.  
I need to know.

"Catherine, " I break away from her kisses. She looks at me and attempts again to kiss me.

I hold her hands, "Catherine. Stop." She pulls away from me.

She starts to breath deeply and I see the anger set in."What do you want from me, Greg? What? You respond then back away. What are you trying to do? Is this all a game for you? See the great Willows fall! Playing..."

I take a step foreward and kiss her furiously. Surprised, she resisted at first. But I would'nt let go. I continue to hold her.

"Let go of me, Greg!" She tries to push me away.

"No!" Even I was surprised that I raised my voice.

She stopped stuggling against me. By the look in her eyes and the rate of her breathing, I know shes angry.

"What are you gonna do, Greg? Hurt me?"

I let go of her and this time I took a step back, "I'd never hurt you, Catherine. You know that."

"Then what do you want from me? Are you having second thoughts? Is it because of who I am? My history with men?" She takes a step foreward and pushes me, "What the hell do you want from me?"

I can feel the anger in me rising. I look at her and hold her by her shoulders, almost in a whisper, "I want you, Catherine. I want... you. But," I take her hand and lead her to her bed, motioning her to sit down. Still holding her hand, I kneel beside her, "but not like this."

The color in her face changes, her looks softens. "Greg, I..."

"Catherine," I interupt, "I was us have something to last. I don't care about your past. Hell, both of us have crashed and burned," I smile ,"but I want us to have a chance of something better. I want us have a chance, me and you."

She looks at my hand holding hers. She then smiles at me. "I might just fall in love with you tonight, Greg."

I don't know, but I think I had the biggest smile on my face. I sat next to her, "I'm hoping that you'll fall in love with me tomorrow also."

She laughs lightly, "I think I will tonight and tomorrow."

"And the day after?" I push back the hair that fell lightly on her face.

"And the day after." She leans her head on my shoulder.

"And the day after that?" I kiss her forehead.

Sh looks at me and kisses my hand, "keep on pushing it, Greg. I might just love you for a long time."

"Ahh," I put my arm around her, "just the answer I'm looking for."

Damn, I'm so in love with this woman now.

I lay her gently on the bed and kiss her. "Then I'll stay with you forever."

---oOo---

I wake up with the sun glaring in my face. It all feels like a dream. I look at the person still asleep by my side, her arms wraped around me. I smile andI kiss her forehead and whisper in her ear, "I love you, Catherine Willows, forever."

She stirs a little and with closed eyes,"hello, stranger. "She snuggles up closer.

"Good morning, my lady." What a night. We fell asleep holding each other. Mind you, still fully clothed.

"Shhhh..." she whispers, "your lady love is still asleep."

I nudge her, "We gotta get up. Lindsey will be coming home soon."

"Well, it's about time someone acknowledges me." Lindsey says as she comes in the room.

Like a lightning bolt, we sat straight up.

Catherine looks at her daughter, "Lindsey? When did you get home?"

---oOo---

"About thirty minutes ago. You two were asleep so I didn't bother." She sits at the foot of the bed munching on a granola.

"Lindsey? Are you okay?" Catherine moves closer to her. I just sat there, didn't know what to say.

"Sure, Mom." She smiles at her then looks at me, "Morning, Greg."

"Ummm, morning, Linds." God, what an awkward moment.

"I got an extra granola bar. Anybody want?" She fishes out a wrapped bar from her back pocket.

"Lindsey, are you alright?" Catherine takes her daughter's hand in hers. I get up from the bed and sit next to the little girl.

"Linds," I simply say, "Is it okay if I love your Mom?"

"It's okay, Greg, you're cool. You're good for her. Finally!" She hold her hands up in the air and smiles at me the turns to Catherine, "Mom, I'm hungry."

Catherine sits there, looks at me and then back to her daughter, surprised at her response.

Here she is, Lindsey. Catherine's nine year old daughter. The same little girl I gave a piggy back ride last summer during a barbeque party. The same little girl whom I spent most of the that night playing and entertaining. The same little girl who asked me if I thought if her mom was pretty. Which of course I said 'yes, your mom is not only pretty, but a very beautiful person.' To this answer she smiled and said, 'good. You two look cool together!' At that time I took it as a compliment. But looking back she saw more. In the eyes of a nine year old, she saw our future.

I get up and take a smiling Lindsey's hand and we both go out of the room, "well, little lady. did you know that I'm an excellent cook?"

I look back at Catherine, still sitting down, speechless of the sudden acceptance of Lindsey,"come on, Cath. We can't starve a growing girl."

Lindsey turns around, "Mom, come on. Greg's going to make us breakfast!"

Still holding her hand, I look at her, "lunch and dinner if you want me too."

She grins at me, "excellent!" She looks back at Catherine, "Mom, duh. Get over it. Come on!"

Catherine stands up, closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath, opens her eyes and smiles at me,"that wasn't bad."

No, it wasn't at all. In a span of twenty four hours, I opened my heart to Catherine. In less than twelve hours, she is learning to love me back. In less than an hour, the little Willows woman has accepted me. Not bad at all.

I am her knight in shining armour. Rescuing her from her past. She is my heart, rescuing me from myself. Making me see there is a better tomorrow, a better future up ahead of us. Catherine, Lindsey and me. My life is complete.

"Come on, my lady, "I smile at Catherine, "we'll beat you to the kitchen."

---oOo---

_**comments, reviews, suggestions so welcomed. i finished this at work last night. any typo errors are mine. **_


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